Wintersite birthday 50 years

Some facts about each year of my first 50 years.
0.	My mother got pregnant, although she didn't want to.
1.	I was born during a very cold night in a hospital. The water in the glass beside the bed of my mother was frozen. My grandmother found me not breathing in the babybed at hospital, all blue and grey. Thanks to her I survived. Later that year I refused to eat and an indonesian woman gave me banana. I've always loved bananas ever after. When I was about 35 years the woman visited town and we saw each other while shopping. She still recognised me, because she recognised my soul, as she said.
2.	A holiday at sea was planned, but the doctor adviced to leave because I had breathing difficulties. I loved music (and still do) and sang with a very high voice, much to the amusement from everyone listening.
3.	My earliest memories are of the house of my grandmother and me playing with my granddad who died that year. I still remember everything from that room. My friend in the street was Jolanda. In winter we went on our sleighs from a steep slope in the street.
4.	Went to the Montessori school at tante Annie. We moved to a new house. Because of my bad sight I got glasses. Dad became conductor of a children's choir and took me with him. I loved it.
5.	Went to the montessori school at Sister Theodorina. I guess she understood something about the situation at my house. Was the youngest in town to be taught swimming. I wasn't allowed to receive a diploma, because I was far too young.
6.	Went to a new school. The teacher was called Miss Voet/Foot. She got the blackbord on her foot and couldn't walk for ages. She taught me to read. Was allowed to train with the members of the rescue team. Only got help when the lead doll should be lifted from the bottom of the swimmingpool.
7.	The teacher of the second grade, Mrs. Hendrikxs, was a wonderful teacher. My sister was born. I can't remember seeing my mother pregnant. I held my sister to be baptised. I was badly abused at home. I think my teacher made our doc take actions to get me out of the house.
8.	Was send to a children's home. I was a lonely child, but loved to play at the beach. One time I was forgotten and they only found at at dinner that evening. When it was almost time to go home, I got Rubella there and was on the isolation ward for a long time. Only my uncle and aunt came to visit and they brought me plastic beads.
9.	Our teacher was "Bold Adolfs". The children hated him because he wasn't very nice to them. But he played the violin in a wonderful way. He was ridiculed for it, but in a flash I realised that he was unhappy because he wasn't able to do what he wanted most.
10.	The school was in a cornfield and one beautiful afternoon we were in the cornfield and forgot to go back to school after the break. Was solo singer in the church.
11.	Each sunday my dad and me went to my gram to drink coffee and have her delicious home made soup. We went to walk in the woods many an afternoon and dad taught me a lot about nature. I was asked to apply for the ballet academy. Mother refused to let me.
12.	A drumband was started and I joined as a piper (playing a certain kind of flute). Was accepted at the nun's secondary school. I was very shy, had low self-esteem. Went with my father to england, a coming-home experience.
13.	Was the first to enter the boy's school when our school merged with theirs. I loved the building and got the Jezuits adjust things for girls. Joined the swimming club and won the regional swimming competition. The bowl went to school. I gained self-esteem quickly.
14.	A teacher who was a writer himself send me to a magazine because he thought it wise I would learn more about the profession. I didn't know then that I would stay there for over 10 years and do every job from running boy, pons-typist, to interviewing famous writers and being chief editor. I loved each and every aspect of it. Except the administration.
15.	Played in the schoolorchestra and was asked for a new choir. Saw the love of my life for the first time. He asked me to join the schoolmagazine. I did. Met a lot of wonderful people.
16.	Played the church organ at christmas. Sang solo at the school choir. My gram payed my ballettuition, without my mother ever knowing.
17.	Was asked to represent school at the Pax Christi marches by the nuns. Which was a perfect way of having my mother agree. There was no representing to do, only to meet a lot of other people and discover more about my identity. Started the pupils board at school and florished writing.
18.	My fiancee left to study in another town. I missed the offical diploma ceremony, because I failed just a tenth of a point. Had to redo one subject. Did well and got my diploma in a little chamber. Seemed none cared.
19.	Studied english. Had very good results, but Erik Kellerman saw I wanted to study something else. Midwifery in fact. We both found out studying psychology was the best bargain, as my mother refused to pay for another study than english. She was very angry I wasn't making her dream to become a teacher herself come true.
20.	Did well, failed the statistics exam with one tenth of a point. Story of my life. But won the univerity dance marathon. LOL! Left home and was a nannie beside being a student. Studied Swedish for a while.
21.	Became a mentor. Passed the exams at psychology. Applied for an extern place at medicine. Meaning I wasn't allowed to do the practical part of the study at times when there wasn't place and I wasn't allowed to do exams. I couldn't afford to pay for it anyway. I was accepted. Bumped, after a silence of three years, against my former fiancee, who never officially ended the relationship, just skipped every contact. A good friend of both of us was present an arranged an appointment. As I thought my former fiancee had discovered he was too young to commit himself and was afraid to tell me. When I left he asked me to wait for him for another three years. I told him I couldn't put my life on halt forever.
22.	Became the youngest staff member ever at psychology, teaching methods of research and ... statistics. During one of my lectures I suddenly understood a lot more of the subject I was teaching. LOL! Did the job for 5 years. Danced ballet, Martha Graham and more every spare minute of my time. Like I did many years during my studies. Had probably the best time of my life.
23.	Was the tutor of those who came out of the army. Working as a member of the festivity commission of psychology. I met Jim. As I paid for my studies myself I always tried to get jobs that combined making money with learning a lot.
24.	Went on tour with our ballet group. Worked and studied. Took also sociology-subjects. Married Jim, after we got a little student appartment. Decided not to go on the new tour, but took subjects on educational sciences beside my other studies.
25.	Taught meditation, studied a lot. Tried to fit in in married life and live up to the expectations of all 4 parents. Travelled a lot to and fro to please them and almost forgot that I had to lead my own life. Luckily my friends kept me grounded. Did the hypnotherapy training with a very good friend.
26.	My (spiritual) brother left. Worked a lot with young people and adolescents. Heard that I never would have children days before I became godmother.
27.	Moved from the campus to a normal appartment at the third floor. It was so normal we even had a gossipping woman at the ground floor, peeking from behind the curtains with every move we made. LOL! Did a lot of glass engraving and other things.
28.	Applied for a work- and studyplace in a hospital out of town and got the job. Thought it would be for 6 months, but stayed 2 years. I loved it!
29.	Started at cancer care and research. Could use my own experiences (of the year before) to understand the people I worked with. Finished the training for family therapy. Started my thesis.
30.	Gave birth to Stef. Finished my studies. Started a foundation to support women who had/have nowhere to go during pregnancy, and need support during and after birth, and to support those parents whose babies have died and the professionals who support them.
31.	My grandmother died when I was three months pregnant. Gave birth to Jenny, who unexpectedly died two days later. Found out that people were so used to my support, that I got no support at all.
32.	The foundation became a national organisation for parents of deceased children. Started to change protocols and customs in hospitals and mortuaries. Decided to councell people for free.
33.	Gave birth to Lars. The day I came home from hospital I phoned with my fathers doc and he told me my father had uncurable cancer. He died in september. My last soulmate gone. Continued councelling. Made long weeks. Found out the truth about the death of Jenny.
34.	Worked as a tutor at the medicine department of the university and did quite a lot of councelling at births/deliveries.
35.	Gave birth to Thami, who nearly died after birth due a mistake of a doc. Informed day care centers about SIDS and medication that poses a risk. Informed midwifes and nurses about home heart- and lung-monitoring.
36.	Met one of my best friends during childbirth classes. Gave birth to Nyo. Ran my own balletensemble, performing at schools.
37.	Wrote a book. Gave lot of info about breastfeeding, pregnancy and other women subjects.
38.	Met my (spiritual) brother again. Gave birth to Winnie, who died during pregnancy. Had a firm confrontation with one of the docs that did research in an unethical way, which lead to important changes in monitoring the ethical aspects of medical research.
39.	Gave birth to the twins. Stopped councelling for a while as I had enough to do with 4 little boys and the twins. I realised that both Stef and Nyo might be autistic.
40.	Translated and rewrote some books. Took the time to consult some docs. Got diagnosed with severe asthma, chronic bronchitis and a large number of allergies.
41.	Had a hysterectomy. Started giving balletlessons again.
42.	Started a balletgroup for grown up women. Became chairman of the parents-organisation of Stef's school, which was my former school.
43.	Performed ballet on stage. Probably for the last time.
44.	Was diagnosed with diabetes. It ruined my training for an important audition.
45.	Got for the first time on internet. Wrote a lot, studied a lot. Was chairman of many organisations. And sang with a band. Found out more about my native indian roots.
46.	Started to use more volume of air with my body. So diabetes and it's medication can make people fat. Wrote colums and did some councelling. My native sisters died.
47.	Started informing people about ADHD, autism and some other handicaps. Studied a lot. Homeschooled Nyo after loads of problems with the school.
48.	Divorced. Withdrew the legal part, but kept emotionally divorced. Took more time for spiritual development and started to train my voice more.
49.	Joined a bagpipe band. Became a little bit used to the strange face that looks at me when I look in the mirror. Found finally a good dentist. Turned out he was befriended with our beloved dentist.
50.	Studied hard to become a bagpiper. Stef got diagnosed, but only after filing serious complaints at the hospital. Got changes realised at his school. Witnessed severe psychological deteriorisation of Lars and contacted an old friend to be his psychologist. More than ever I was confronted with the fact that I want to lead another life, but I can't leave my children. I'm old enough to express my opinion, and I'm taking a firm stand in some matters. Not all schools like me. But I know I fight for better learning opportunities for autistic and other children on the autism spectrum.
To keep the above a bit interesting I mentioned activities I did for years only once or twice.