Marja
Oh, how I miss you!
We were both 12, strangers too each other when we met each other in the classroom.
Just a smile, and we were friends.
We were both rather quiet girls, but when we were without the public of the large school, we made a lot of noise with talking, giggling and discussing matters which were important to us.
When we grew a bit older, you were drawn to more outgoing and, in your eyes, more interesting people, and I devoted my time to music and ballet, and ofcourse my grandmother.
But it was like we were bound together with elastics. We always ended up having a good time together sharing our experiences and what it meant for our personalities.
We had dreams together about being grown up and having a family.
Never ever without what was important to us: singing.
We both had long hair, and on this photo you're wearing my ribbon necklace.
When we left school we saw each other regularly, until life took its turn and knowing where we were gave a feeling of security and comfort.
No way I was going to bother you with my tears and troubles. I just couldn't.
You were radiating a happiness I didn't dare to break with something from myself.
At the schoolreunion we were happy to see each other.
You told me you wanted another job and I told you about one at the hospital I heard about the day before.
They wanted a cheerfull person who was talented with children.
So they needed you.
When I wanted to meet a few weeks later, you backed out, telling me you wanted to spend your time with your family.
I asked what was going on, but you escaped...
telling me we would spend time together singing and sharing life when the children were bigger.
I felt hurt, and there was a deep sadness which found no bottom.
Wasn't the same promise for the future made between me and Monica, who died a few years after that promise?
It was like reaching out in emptiness.
But a good friend had an arm ready and wrapped it around my shoulder and took me into the future.
Did he know?
It turned out you got the job and found the way to many hearts, just like I expected.
And you've been singing all your life, like you wanted, and you got a family.
You also fought a battle with cancer and you lost.
I read your name in the paper and couldn't believe my eyes, but there were so many loving announcements, that it was clear it was you they were writing about.
So now I know why you didn't want to see me again after the reunion.
You wanted to keep my smile on my face too.
After you died it became clear how many sould you have touched during your life.
Even though I missed you a few years, I've seen you develop from a shy, naieve child, into an inspiring woman, I've seen your talents develop and I've shared many hours with you that never can be taken away from my memories.
Never before I've sensed you so near to me than after your death.
When we were young Monica, Annette, you and me agreed to break through the veil between life and death to send our love across the realms.
Days I've spend roaming the internet, trying to find something that would fit my memories, but I couldn't find anything.
Then, when the first snowflakes fell, too early in the year, I found the wonderful graphic from Susan.
Snowflakes are kisses sent from Heaven.
I wish you were more often so near to me.
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