So many memories.

I was one of those little children that loved music and danced, danced, danced.
At an early age of 5 I was allowed to be present at the balletlessons and soon I was an enthousiastic pupil.
But when my mother was approached with the question if I could be prepared for the balletacademy, she said "no".
She didn't want to go with me 15 minutes on the bus to the centre of town.

I stayed at the balletschool, learned what I could and that was it... my mother thought.

I went to secondary school in town and because the teachers there all knew each other it was soon known that I had the freedom to take lessons here and there. My gram payed.

So I used my free hours between schoollessons well, and often popped in for a lesson after school.
Being with all levels of teaching kept me sharp, and there was always something to learn.

At university this went on, and even though I was not a formal student at the ballet academy, at that time there were some advanced young people who could walk in and apply for a free place at a lesson.
I often did.

I've never been bored with the warming up exercises, the countless plies and releves, and all the other movements.
Hearing the piano made me another person, and the faint echo still makes me want to dance.

During that time I met some other your people who wanted to start a performance group, and they asked me to join them.
No problem.
Some of them lived in my town, ancd we were supported by one of the schools in town, so we could use the studio during hours it was not otherwise used.
Never say that to students. LOL!
There were days that we danced through the night. not knowing what time it was, just being caught up in a choreography, or improvising. Only when the sun came up, we came back on earth.. hurried under the showers and raced our bikes to be in time for tutoring at the university.

It was a golden time (even though I worked a lot to pay for my studies.)

Then we went on tour. It was great and I felt that it brought out the best of me.
More and more we moved from ironcast choreographies, to pieces with only moments we had to be at a certain place in a certain movement.
In a way we were very ahead of our time.

Later we even moved further, and had other people tell us which music they wanted... we could do everything!

We went from stage to stage, studying in the meantime and going back to take exams.

I worked as a writer and translator. Sometimes I found a place in a posh directors room at a huge desk, and other times I sat in a dark corner typing on an almost antique typewriter.
If I had known I would long back to that time, I would have enjoyed the pain in my back and the aching fingers far more.
But it paid rather well, and it enabled me to dance.

Back at the normal life at university and work, I met Jim.
Instead of going on tour again I stayed at home.. in love.

For years I hardly had a chance to have a ballet lesson.
One of the members of the ensemble died, and so that part of life became part of the past and a large collection of memories that took hold in my movement too.
Each time I heard certain music I felt a strong need to stand up and ballet.

Years went by. I got children. I lost that fragile look of well-trained balletdancers, but once in a while I was aksed to step in when a ballet-teacher was ill. And I lo-o-o-oved it.

Then my niece needed someone to help her at her school at the other side of the country. No way I could travel to and fro.
But I took over making the choreographies, casting the dancers and training the teachers for their own yearly performance.

One of my children, Lars, wanted to ballet and it soon became clear he was very talented.
He was told to apply for the balletacademy, and I was asked to train him and the other academy applicants from town.
The whole summer I had a ballet studio not even 5 minutes from home, and soon I was my former me again.

For a few years I joined a balletschool, and at one of the performances I was on stage with four of my children. It was great!!

I started my own school-performance group and even when I was pregnant I was able to teach them. It was fun!!

Because I had to have major surgery I stopped with the group, and for a few years I did nothing at all, but go with Lars to his lessons, rehearsals and performances.

Then I decided it was time to start a balletgroup for adults. Something unknown in my country.

I started it up and soon after the national company started a group for adults too.

It was great fun, but it wasn't enough.

So I decided to apply for a place with one of the best teachers in the country.
He accepted me and for a couple of years I had to put up with his remarks, yelling and thorough trainingsessions, all at free will. LOL!
I enjoyed each and every minute of his lessons, even though he asked far too much at times. But I was preparing for an audition for the group of the oldies of the national company, so we both knew what we were doing.
5 evenings a week I put the kids to bed and then biked to town... 1 hour, had one or two lessons, biked back..

I was as healthy as could be.

In the meantime Lars had his own performances, and he was invited to present the flowers at a very important ballet meeting at the townhall at christmasday.
I was in the shadow of the stage... saw one of the most inspiring teachers of me coming on stage to celebrate her birthday.
No one knows how moved I felt when I saw her.
Or did she?

She looked aside and had a good look, then recognised me and smiled.
Her hand made the short flare I had seen so many times before when she was on stage and wanted to signal an unseen greet.

How enjoyed those years, on stage, back stage, at the ballet academy, everywhere.

Then suddenly I felt tired during lessons. After a couple of lessons I even had to sit down.
I thought I'd caught a bug, but I couldn't recover.

Diabetes ended suddenly my ballet life.


I still miss it almost every day.
The balletdancer in me.. just keeps on moving. I hope to be able to make more choreographies...
Who knows what the future brings.